11. THE TWO TOWERS

BY J.R.R. TOLKIEN

Andy Serkis is LEGEND.

I just listened to Andy Serkis narrating THE TWO TOWERS and my soul is forever changed. If you are a fan of the films, and have never experience ANDY MOTHA FUCKIN’ SERKIS narrating The Lord of the Rings trilogy of novels, YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT LORD OF THE RINGS!!!!!!

my experience:

This image is a bit phalic, but I suppose with balls as large as Mr. Serkis CLEARLY possesses, I’ll let it slide.

This has deepened my appreciation for the series. Let me be clear; I’ve been a fan of The Lord of the Rings for decades. I went through a good five year period where I read the books, start to finish, once per year, every year. But my love for the films always overshadowed my love of the books. To this day, that trilogy is my comfort zone. When I’m feeling down, stressed, or overwhelmed, I put on the trilogy, and it lifts my spirits. I cry every time at both the expected moments and several unexpected ones. I consider it the greatest trilogy of films ever made, and that’s in a world where Back to the Future exists, so please don’t take that statement lightly. The Lord of the Rings film trilogy is an absolute masterpiece and will forever hold a dear place in my heart.

But thanks to Andy Serkis, and his ability to elevate what is already a masterful work of literary fiction, I have a newfound appreciation for these books in their original form. If The Return of the King holds up to this pattern, and we all know it will, then these three audiobooks will surely compete with the films for the right to cheer me up when I need it. It’s such a wild experience.

Mr. Serkis delivers incredible performances as each member of this enormous cast. He has voices for everyone, and in some cases more than one. For example, his Gandalf the Grey in The Fellowship of the Ring was almost whimsical. To the point that all I heard in him was the voice of USIDORE! WIZARD OF THE TWELTH REALM OF EPHYSIYIES, MASTER OF LIGHT AND SHADOW! MANIPULATOR OF MAGICAL DELIGHTS! DEVOURER OF CHAOS! CHAMPION OF THE GREAT HALLS OF TERR’AKKAS! The elves know him as Fi’ang Yalok. The dwarfs know him as Zoenen Hoogstandjes. And he is also known in the Northeast as Gaismunēnas Meistar. (And there may be other names we do not know, yet!)

But his Gandalf the White is noticeably different. The whimsy is gone, and in its place a sort of regal air of purpose and drive. Serkis is incredible. I mean, Treebeard. LET’S TALK ABOUT TREEBEARD FOR A SECOND! Because Treebeard in the films was voiced by John Rhys-Davies, who also played Gimli. That performance is perfect and I wouldn’t have changed a thing about it… UNTIL NOW. I honestly kind of wish they’d given Serkis the chance to voice Treebeard for the films.

And of course, this being The Two Towers, we have his GOLLUM joining the cast. If you think you’ve heard everything there is to hear of Mr. Serkis’ performance of Gollum, you are mistaken. Listening to Gollum sing, not just a couple of lines in the forbidden pool but entire songs from beginning to end, is an otherworldly experience. His Saruman?! EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME!!!! HIS SARUMAN?!!!! Shut the hell up. I’m buying all three of these. They’re joining the Mistborn Trilogy as my comfort reads. This is insane.

I cannot encourage you enough to listen to these Andy Serkis-narrated audiobooks. They are MASTERFUL productions. Amazing!

Twenty out of Twenty resurrected wizards!